The more frustrated I get, the more stress I feel. The more stressed I am, the more anxious I become. As my anxiety levels rise, the less confidence I have in myself, and my self-confidence is very low at the best of times. The less confident I become, the more depressed I become, the ridiculous any idea of self-worth becomes.
You can see how I've discovered a genuine perpetual motion machine here.

I don't know where to start.

On top of that I compound these problems with several horrible mechanisms:

• I want instant results.
• I prevaricate (so many things need done, where to start, start nothing).
• I reach an initial goal then abandon.

Baby steps.
One thing at a time.
- Break down each task to subtasks and handle all prep first and in the right order.
- Study, practice & take measured risks to assess progress *
- Reflection before & after action is important *
- "make time" rather than "find time" *

So how can I improve? Where do I start?

• I can make time for all the things I want to do.
• I can get up earlier to be at the gym for 8:30am.
• I can enable this by getting to bed and ready to sleep by midnight.
• When I can I will cycle to work.
• I can set aside that hour after dinner to study for work.
• I can practice my instrument for 15 mins a day, after studying.
• On the weekends I can do study music.
• I can aim to be studying for work 3x a week.

And that's a simple plan.

And now, three weeks into the New Year, I've stuck to the 3x a week gym attendance regime for a 6 weeks. Getting up at 7am is an established thing now, preparing breakfast and lunch in the evening is bedding in. It's going to be OK.

*some strong advice perfectly summed-up by BJC. Thank you Barry.