Spamarama

Absolutely loving this piece of phishing spam I received earlier:

discount bogner men

Awaken, you say? Even right now, actual ladies really don’t put together multimillion greenback enterprises with the kitchen area table while they’re performing the clean and cooking, much too.

So much going on there, so much wrongness.

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It’s in the Spams Tonight

It started off so well. Then a series of ever-sharpening left-turns and non-sequiturs break the flow.

hi there

The Society of Free Fishermen of Newhaven dates from at least 1572 and was one of the oldest friendly societies in Scotland. Effects of an EMG biofeedback and relaxation program on the control of diabetes.
Strictly an observer at first, he increasingly becomes agitated as their lives are blighted by violence, poverty, and injustice. I was 25, but Dean started when he was 20, and he had a lot of early success in modifieds.
Such structures were being studied at the time. The Byzantine Empire and its neighbouring states in 1340.
Rudy asks her out. Independents appeared in all six districts. In 1902, McAllister married a Miss Humphrey.

I am a Spam Magnet

This is what passes for spam these days in my email account.  Did I sign up to a “quietly domesticated home-owner interested in becoming a keen gardener” discussion list? Did I once give B&Q my email? Are sheds the new black market?

Whatever the reason, whatever the source, I can’t help but feel faintly insulted.

==============================================.
More THan 12k Easy to-follow Shed-Plans.
==============================================.
For the beginning-builder or experienced
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Hello Chris
Would you like to have a shed built in your backyard?
Imagine all the potential-uses for it.
With our vast selection of plans and blueprints, it has become quite simple for anyone to start building new-sheds in their own backyards.
This is the closest thing you’ll find to hiring a carpenter to work on your project and it DOES-NOT matter what skill-level you-are.
Visit Here Right Away to See these New Shed Building-Guides: http://a.spammylink.com

Thank you,
Ryan Henderson
DIY Network-Expert

In the Spams Tonight

The very day after I was almost kicked out of my house for buying Tinned Spam (I received mercy only because it turned out to be Corned Beef) this small item of genius dropped into my spam folder:

People usually trust men who like oligarchs. Create such a role. Do you know what girls want? We do! Check out that info at our site.

I thought I knew what was coming next…

Want to be noticed by ladies? Wear branded cufflinks. Click once and you will forget that these accessories are not original.  Make a great choice.

Brilliant.

Coralled!!


This week has been a trove of thoroughly ridiculous spam-mail, but here are my two very favourites:
From Simionescu:

A slim brunette with big boobs in heels from S.”

And within, a list of links to, um, questionable movies.

And from Leda Driver (a rarity in that the name matches the email address):

Does your cock renounce to work?  Bring through him ot this illness!”

Seasonal allergy symptoms get thousands of people by surprise every year.

Choose your way to your love-life’s chargers.


Just superb! 

In the spams tonight.

Recently I’ve received a number of spam emails entitled “Will Facebook kill the high-school reunion?”
I believe that high-school reunions are a very American notion, much like the high-school prom, and as such are fairly alien to cultures outside the US and an adopted “tradition” that has crossed the Atlantic within living memory.

Now I could go off on an ill-informed diatribe about such invented traditions, where people in English-speaking Europe assume US traditions as their own under the full belief that these traditions exist in their own cultures thanks to a smorgasbord of US film and TV providing rich historical and social details about these traditions viewed through the eyes of the participants as a backdrop rather than in analysis.  But I won’t.  My point is somewhat different.

Facebook will never kill the high-school reunion because Facebook does not serve beer.

Indecent Sacrifice

I’m a hoarder. I admit it freely, even if it has taken me years to face up to it. I’m also an information junkie; I have a real desire to know shit.

Both these quiet obsessions are fed obliquely by my Google Gmail account. I don’t let spam build up to be automatically deleted after 30 days, I monitor it. Possibly this is a hangover from the olden days of creating filters manually and keeping an eye open for false positives, but that is neither here nor there.

Today in my spam folder I received another one of the following pieces of accidental genius:

SPUR YOUR FERVOR!

Your girlfriend will be satisfied! Every single night. Believe me!

Brilliant.

[NP: The Books – Be Good To Them Always]