I don’t need to cut myself some slack, I need to recognize what I’ve achieved so far. It’s essential that Istep back, see my context and recognize that I’ve achieved a lot already.
- I’ve dropped 15 kg.
- I regularly go to the gym (3x a week).
- I study and practice my instrument 10x more than I ever have.
- My bass playing has improved immensely in the last year.
- While I’m not regularly cycling this winter, between April and October I did regularly and over long distances (30-70 miles). This was curtailed only by injury.
Sure, I’m still expecting immediate results, I’ve still not sussed out my sleep balanced, I’m still tired and still feel undermotivated, and yes it still feels like my momentum is driven by anxiety rather than by a positive energy: but I am doing what I said I would do. And that is a real thing.
The more frustrated I get, the more stress I feel. The more stressed I am, the more anxious I become. As my anxiety levels rise, the less confidence I have in myself, and my self-confidence is very low at the best of times. The less confident I become, the more depressed I become, the ridiculous any idea of self-worth becomes.
You can see how I’ve discovered a genuine perpetual motion machine here.
I don’t know where to start.
On top of that I compound these problems with several horrible mechanisms:
- I want instant results.
- I prevaricate (so many things need done, where to start, start nothing).
- I reach an initial goal then abandon.
One thing at a time.
– Break down each task to subtasks and handle all prep first and in the right order.
– Study, practice & take measured risks to assess progress *
– Reflection before & after action is important *
– “make time” rather than “find time” *
So how can I improve? Where do I start?
- I can make time for all the things I want to do.
- I can get up earlier to be at the gym for 8:30am.
- I can enable this by getting to bed and ready to sleep by midnight.
- When I can I will cycle to work.
- I can set aside that hour after dinner to study for work.
- I can practice my instrument for 15 mins a day, after studying.
- On the weekends I can do study music.
- I can aim to be studying for work 3x a week.
And that’s a simple plan.
And now, three weeks into the New Year, I’ve stuck to the 3x a week gym attendance regime for a 6 weeks. Getting up at 7am is an established thing now, preparing breakfast and lunch in the evening is bedding in. It’s going to be OK.
*some strong advice perfectly summed-up by BJC. Thank you Barry.
This piece is *very* satisfying.
The Broken Oak, Damsel’s Cross
Some taverns tell their tales in the free public library of swinging signs. Some like The Broken Oak will only give up their strange stories if you venture inside. While its name and sign is simple memorial to a lightning-tortured tree that once stood on the village green, once inside, the establishment offers a unique look at old method of dealing with troublesome spirits. For the price of a pint, you can take a look at its perpetually locked ‘ghost room’.
In the late 18th century, The Broken Oak was so troubled by an unruly spirit that scratched and scarred both the landlord’s wife, her young maid and several of its patrons, that a ghost-layer was called. When the sanctions of the Church of England were unable to end the spiritual terror, the services of the cunning folk were…
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Come join us at this festival of New Musics.
The latest TONEBURST release is now available. https://toneburst.bandcamp.com/ Studio improvisations. The recordings are mono. From instrument to hard drive. From hard drive to tape. Each of the four tracks were made using the Drone & Drama v2 instrument. The recordings were selected from a pool of recordings made over the course of one […]bjc – D&Dv2_Studies_v1 — barry joseph cullen
Here’s a fascinating example of creation, formal process and examination. And great results!
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
“No Eden valid without serpent.“
Novelist Wallace Stegner wrote that pithy riff. I think it’s a good motto for you to use in the immediate future. How do you interpret it? Here’s what I think. As you nourish your robust vision of paradise-on-earth, and as you carry out the practical actions that enable you to manifest that vision, it’s wise to have some creative irritant in the midst of it. That bug, that question, that tantalizing mystery is the key to keeping you honest and discerning. It gives credibility and gravitas to your idealistic striving.